I look in the mirror and a red rash slowly creeps up my neck, I’m having a panic attack and its because of my face.
Like many people in there 20’s I am affected by acne and it damn sucks. My mother told me “don't worry it will clear as you get older," but mine just got worse each year.
I have tried prescriptions, cutting out dairy, being a vegan, at home remedies, expensive skincare regimes and even moved to a more holistic approach, and you know what, none of this worked for me, yes this might work for others, but if your in the same boat as me you can’t help but feel ugly, and ashamed to go out in public without makeup.
The worst thing is I am a makeup artist, and my best asset is showing my face. I lost my confidence to acne, I apologised to strangers for my face. I didn't want, what I looked like to represent my worth.
No one should ever feel this way, for any reason. But honestly it is easier said than done.
The last thing I was yet to try was the controversial drug Accutance (isotretinoin), a form of vitamin A that reduces the amount of oil realised by your oil glands in your skin. This drug is used as a last resort for acne suffers where other methods have failed.
I have now been on Accutane for a week, my skin feels fine, I haven't noticed any sensitivity yet; but I can defiantly see that my skin is slowly starting to dry out and is becoming increasingly itchy. When I applying makeup in the morning, from a distance it looks great, but up close you can see that the makeup is separated and wont blend together.
And as for the purging stage, it's already started. My dermatologist said it would get worse before it got better, and it has, nothing I can’t (try to) handle. I now have large pimple over my cheeks, which was once an okay place for clear skin, and they are a different type of pimple, some are just a whitehead while other are actually a large red spot with no head but extremely tender (my guess cystic).
All I have ever wanted was clear skin, and honestly, no one ever had the right answer, but MANY had their own opinion. So I will document my process with honesty of my experience and keep you updated, because everyone is different and I have no idea what the next 6 months is going to be like (hell I’ve been told).